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Black Friday Ride

It was cold, we had many incidents... a memorable ride indeed! The very nice thing about this ride was that EVERYBODY was on a freakbike — YAAY!! That's a beautiful thing

Pre-pre-departure at The Tardis

Limp Jimmy leaves work early to prepare a couple of his rides for Chris and Red Rocko... everything was ready, then Split Pea snaps her chain. Replacement chain is found and the circus continues to the Sty...

Pre-departure: much mayhem and many beers at the Flying Pigsty

Nancy toiled much of the day in a disgruntled and progressively drunken stupor, as many Rats who commited to being there to help out didn't actually show up... nevertheless, in his true style, he battled the odds and readied many Rat Steads in preparation for the biggest turn-out of 'road-ready' RPOz bikes yet, and for the greater beneifit of the Rat Patrol (thankfully, we don't have a picture of this scene).

Rendezvous & departure...

Finally, 17 Rat Bikes arrive at the rendezvous point, up to an hour late.

Incident 1: SS Mitzie pancakes yet another rear wheel. I think that makes about 10 pancaked wheels now. Limp's large (yet purely for medicinal use) bottle of 90% proof Slivovich is put to good use as a couch bike jack (pictured below), while the ever-spirited 2humpz rides back to the workshop to procure another rear wheel. We finally decide to ditch the couch bike in favour of a couple of tallbikes at a nearby house, so we would have less chance of having any more mechanicals... famous last words.

Incident 2: en-route back to the Sty, we get pulled up by an un-marked Police car. The cops were good natured and were really only concerned about our safety. The conversation went something like this:

[cops] "Pull over, pull over" much elevated arm-waving required to gain the attention of Limp Jimmy on Disaster Area
[DA's Chinese Police bike-mounted light & siren unit] EEEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAAW, EEEEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAW!!!! WOOP-WOOP WOOOOOP!!!!
[cops] "We just saw a massive dark shape. You don't have any lights on the back"
[Nancy] "Well actually officer, we do have these gert-massive red flashing lights on back..."
[cops] "Look guys... you... you just can't ride that... thing... it's an accident waiting to happen"
[Limp] "We've just come from from Edgars (50m away) and we are only going to that house (30m away)..."
[cops] "I can smell alcohol on your breath, you know you're not supposed to ride and drink?"
[Limp] "I just had a beer..." (kinda stating the obvious)
[Limp slaps the cop's arm] "You know, it's amphibious... see the paddle wheels?"
[bemused, bewildered cop] "Uuugh... what?!?"
[Limp] "We got some similar questions from the water police!"

The well-meaning cops eventually give up and wish us health :)

Incident 3: by the time Rat Patrol actually started to move off, we had our second on-road mechanical: Jas's brand new trike (Black Death) fell victim to real world physics on it's debut appearance. Not to worry, this was going to be an AWSOME ride! The crew gathers 300m down the road for Safety Stop beers at Corroboree Park.

Incident 4: as we finally move off once again, 2Humpz's rear tyre exploded after some tallbike gutter jumping. Limp pulls out his expoded-tube repair equipment and fixes the large hole, against the odds (while preaching the virtues of making your own puncture repair patches to all in sundry).

Incident 5: someone pinched the tube while putting it back onto 2Humpz's new (yet stupidly over-sized!!) solid metal wheel, so the tube had another gaping hole... 2Humpz again leaves, this time to extract an old tube from another bike at the workshop. 4 very strong men somehow stretch the tyre back over the ridiculously-oversized wheel. More than an hour after stopping in freezing conditions, we once again set off with enough time for a rather blurry team photo as 2Humpz does battle with the solid red wheel...

Scrujette finally meets the crew to make it an 18 freakbike ride :D

Journey to venue 2: the Polish Club

Chaos reigns as group splinters/races to the Polish club through the icy night...

Slivovitch, apple vodka, scotch whiskey, beers (etc) are consumed outside the Polish club. We really love parking next to their "no bike parking sign"... they probably love it too! We figure the sign is there in order to reserve parking for freakbikes... which is fair enough.

Randoms discover the joy of riding tallbikes. Gel does donuts on Black Death. More alcohol is consumed.

Journey to venue 3

All of a sudden, someone is talking about going somewhere, next thing we know, we have marauded someone's house. We tried to make a low-key entrance, but that didn't really work out... Instant house party: just add Rats, Rafe, more beers, hard liquor and music round the fire.

Incident 6: Limp Jimmy says something to Charchie Brown Finger about getting some "horizontal time", spews and passes out in the front garden. He wakes half an hour later covered in ice, feeling cold. (below: pic, ironically taken by Limp Jimmy)

Home time

Drunken disintegration and departure of Rat Patrol from party. Slowest to react were Chris, Limp and Loose Brown (valiently solo-piloting MGE), who headed desperately for food. Chris departs food depot and heads for home on Zed's Dead...

Incident 7: Chris is attacked by 4 lametards, demanding his phone, shiny helmet and chopper. He told them "not", and warned them against proceeding any further with their incredibly stupid idea. They didn't head the warning. He fought back to retain his health, phone and helmet — but they got the chopper.

Chris's report can been viewed here, but let this ugly incident not distract us from our mission in Rat life: to live, to love, to minimise waste, to create awareness, positive change, and to be kind to ALL. Johnny Payphone's words come to mind: "Kill them with kindness". That's the only way.

Be well, Chris.


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